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Tuesday, October 31, 2006


In honor of Halloween, I give you these tips on pumpkin carving...

For those of you who are basic pumpkin carvers, check out THIS SITE for a little pumpkin carving 101, or maybe THIS SITE to download some carving templates for your pumpkin. You might even want to check out THIS SITE to practice carving your pumpkin online.

For the more adventurous, check out THIS SITE for some great info on how to carve a 3D pumpkin. Even if you aren't that adventurous, take some time to check out the gallery. Ray Villafane is an incdredible artist.

And finally, if you are a bit twisted like me (OK, I'm more than just a bit twisted...) check out ExtremePumpkins.com. Ever want to know how to make The Puking Pumpkin? It's there. Or how about The Pyro Pumpkin? Also there. They even have a picture of The Pumpkin Station 3000, the perfect way to enjoy carving success.

If you're like me, you have fixated on the Pyro Pumpkin. Here's how they did it:

Last year I got an e-mail from a boy scout leader somewhere (I am sorry I didn't keep the e-mail to give the guy credit) who uses a kerosene soaked roll of toilet paper to make three foot flames that last for over 1/2 hour.

I had to put this theory to the test. To the Hardware store I went. I bought a gallon of Kerosene ($4.49) and a paint can ($1.89). The roll of TP I stole from the closet at home. According to the boy scout you need to soak the TP overnight, so I did just that.

It was awesome. The flames were indeed three feet out of the pumpkin and they lasted for about 45 minutes. If you want the best flame I have seen yet, this is it. Be warned that the smoke can be a little dark and stinky at first. Otherwise, it was awesome. Remember to be safe and all that.

Oh yeah... there's a video, too.

Happy Halloween!

King Size Commode

If you need one of THESE, it's time to go on a diet...

The Great John Toilet Company of Laredo, TX will sell you a toilet that accomodates your tons-of-fun lifestyle.
  • 150% More contact area on the seat.
  • Extra wide base with 4 anchor points on to prevent tipping.
  • “Side Wings” to prevent pinching if your fat hangs over the side of the seat.
  • Reinforced structure holds up to 2000lbs.

See he difference between a regular toilet and the Great John HERE. See the specs HERE.

HT: Healthbolt via Dave Barry

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Sweet Tool for Your Blog...

Check this out...
  1. Create a Flickr account.
  2. Upload some pictures.
  3. Organize them into a set.
  4. Use PictoBrowser to put them on your site (get the code by clicking on "INFO" below).
Very cool.

HT: Dustin Bryson

Check it out...

Check out a new blog, SpitBox. It's a blog for bloggers. Click HERE or on the banner to the right.

Can a Ukelele be Cool?

I saw this video a while back, but Hale-Yeah! posted it the other day and it reminded me how cool it was (at the 3 min. mark the dude is flat out shredding!). Jake Shimabukuro is the man.

Now, check out Jake playing the National Anthem at Wrigley Field with Jimmy Buffet's band. Awesome.

Check out Jake's website HERE.

HT: Hale-Yeah!

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Chinese Dilemma (and Fortunes)

So I was at my favorite Chinese restaurant the other day with my family when Mrs. Two Blonde Boys notices something high on the wall above us. It was La Cucharacha - a cockroach.

Quick ADD break... That reminds me of a song:

La Cucaracha, la Cucaracha
Ya no quiere caminar
Porque no tiene, porque le falta
Limonada que tomar.

La ya murio la cucaracha,
Ya la lleven a enterrar
Entre cuatro zopilotes
Y un raton de sacristan.

Which translated means..

The cockroach, the cockroach, no longer wants to go anywhere because he doesn't have any lemonade to drink.

In time, the cockroach died and was buried by four buzzards and a church mouse.

And now you know.

Anyway back to the Chinese place.

Normally I am extremely freaked out by cockroaches (but that's a story for another time...). So what do I do? I love this place. The service is outstanding (I won't abide bad service). I am torn.

What would you do? What should I do? Give me your advice, dear readers!

On another note, here were our fortunes (and remember, to make it funny, end with "in bed;" to make it Jr. High, end it with, "in my butt"):

"You are never selfish with your advice or help." (chuckling...)

"You will make many changes before settling down happily." (laughing!)

"The question of life is 'Why?' The answer is 'Why Not?'" (I just wet my pants!!!)

Friday, October 20, 2006

And you just thought this was for fun!

Two Blonde Boys is not just about fun. It's about learning, too, as yesterday's post proves.

Today we leave the field of urinary medicine...

Wait! That reminds me of a joke...

Question: What's the difference between a weather man and an overweight bladder doctor?

Answer: One's a meteorologist and the other is a meaty urologist.

OK. Let's move to our next topic, geography, with this little gem: Can You Pass the Third Grade.

Post pass or fail in the comments!

HT: ...life... by transitionpete

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Drink your water...

Mrs. Two Blonde Boys says that I don't drink enough water. Now, thanks to Randy - and the handy chart below - I can tell if she's right.

And so can you. So drink up!

HT: Ethos

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Men's Summit

Got back Sunday from leading worship at the Men's Summit for our church (NewCov). The speaker was author, Bill Perkins, founder of Million Mighty Men.

Check out Bill's website HERE.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

In Me Own Words...

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I have been reading Bigfoot's autobigraphy and memiors. Who knew the range and depth of this gentle giant? It's pretty entertaining reading.

Here are three poems by Bigfoot from his autobigraphy, In Me Own Words, from the chapter, "Feelings":
Riding Bike
Tree is gone
So is bike
Bike chained to tree
So me steal truck
Back into you
While you ride bike
You could scream help
But me eat you face

Stop, Smell Rose
Where you go
Man on road?
Why you run when me want talk?
You manners bad so me learn you good
Tear off legs
So no more run.

Love is Sad
Man on funny car
Me love!
Want for bigfoot wife
One day me catch
Try make baby
but you head collapse
like sock full of eggs
Me cry
Birds cry too
Me sad

Monday, October 09, 2006

For Hale...

Brian (Hale-Yeah!) Hale busted my chops today about not posting. I have been so pickin' busy, I didn't even realize it's been 2 weeks since my last post.

I won't bore you with the details of what has me buried, instead, here's a little science for you...

HT: yewknee.com via Ethos