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Sunday, May 11, 2008

Mothers Day Tips for Mothers and Others...














  1. If you're choking on an ice cube, simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.
  2. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.
  3. For men: Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
  4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.
  5. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
  6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you'll be afraid to cough.
  7. You only need two tools in life: WD40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
  8. Remember… everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
  9. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.
  10. If you want to save money on haircuts, use Nair. It is about half the cost of a cut, and it will last for several months.
HT: Kem Meyer on Less Clutter & Noise


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1 Comments:

Blogger Flying with Enoch (Jesse) said...

Such timeless advice. I think you really should cite proverbs if you're going to barrow from it so freely.

May 11, 2008 7:32 PM

 

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